Lately I've been feeling exhausted, I'm tired physically and mentally. I'm also emotionally in debt, bankrupt. I haven't got anymore to give and I don't feel like any is coming in. I think it may have to do with the rigors of marching band, school, homework, and horses.

.........I want some people to understand somethings, it does not seem to me that they really comprehend what is and has been happening, I suspect these people know what I'm talking about. It is NO fault of there's!!! But when you are betrayed by someone you trust alot and have know since birth it stings it BURNS, and burns leave scars big nasty hurtful scars! I can NEVER let my guard down, because something will come along and bite me in the ass hard. I never get away lightly. I'm tired of getting burned, send me a note and I'll tell you a tale. I'm not going to say other people don't have a tale also, nor that their life is perfect.

I know I seem cold and hard assed, it really isn't you it is me. I'm in truth afraid, and I don't even want to take the chance of getting burned again(even though I will inevitably). I do the things I do for a reason, I just want you all to understand that. I never do something without cause or act without reason. I guard myself very carefully and the few times when I have slipped have been when I have gotten hurt.

I am a serious person and when I make a commitment to something I stick by it. Some of my dear friends (who I do love) seem to think I'm obsessed without cause. It is not an obsession, it is a LIFESTYLE CHOICE!

I love my horse, I really do she is my friend and never yells at me calls me names, she comprehends more without words than people can with words and I want to convey this to people. I'm an artist of movement and sound. I dance with my horse My art is my Horse, when you paint with colors I paint with Passage, leg yield, and canter, perfecting the balance and shape in motion. I want people to understand this and what it means to me.

And this is to a specific someone who needs to get her shit together, because I'm sick of the drama, I'm sick of it surrounding me, my friends, and my general life.

In short, stop trying to "fix" me and telling me to "get over" things, because there is a rather large possibility that you don't have the whole story and don't understand the extent of the "burns", and I know that I DO NOT UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING IN OTHER PEOPLES LIVES!!!!.

Any hate, bitching, bastarding, rudeness aside, will be reported and flagged as spam, and possibly blocked form my page.